respirations | ― open post.

I swear to God if you actually named your dog after my mother then I'm going to throw you out of your own house.

( Still despite the glare he shoots at Rich there it a quick shift as he spots the small dog. Carefully he bends at his knees, crouching and reaching out to her. )

Oh, um— it was a lie to get her off my back, you know? She kept going on about how I was sick and no one could take care of be accept for her and— ( He breathes out and shakes his head. ) And if I was in love with someone, um— I don't think it would be a woman. I mean I know it wouldn't be a woman because I've done some thinking and, I—

( Again there is color on his face as he keeps his glance up on Richie, smiling faintly and hoping that his words come across. )

[Richie immediately bursts into flames and violently explodes all over the room. But he dies happy.]

( His funeral will be beautiful at least. )

[Richie's heart stops in his chest. Or, no. No, it doesn't stop. It starts beating twice as hard and three times as fast. Words utterly escape him for what feels like a fucking year. In reality it's maybe twenty seconds.]

Oh?

[He doesn't move because this all might be a dream and he doesn't want to interrupt it by waking.]

You... Uh. You've been thinking that... Maybe you're....you know?

( Eddie doesn't understand why he's nervous. It's not like Richie is going to throw him out or anything so drastic but still the silence is unnerving and after a moment he stands with a hard swallow. After a moment, Richie finally speaks and he nods quickly but nervously. )

Yeah, uh— I have, you know? I think or maybe I know that I'm gay. Just another reason why my marriage wasn't working— I wasn't happy, Rich. I don't think I've ever been happy.

[Gay. Eddie just. He just came out and said it. Eddie thinks he's gay. He has thought about it and thinks--knows-- he's gay. And he is here with Richie, telling him.

Richie is pretty sure he's either died or is on the verge of it.]

Coming from a gay dude, I haven't been really happy either. Just in case you thought that came with the rainbow flag and free brunch welcome package.

[He walks closer though and gives Eddie's shoulder a squeeze. It's so firm. So warm and alive. It's a miracle that he could do this now and Richie is wasting it by being a coward. But how can he just spit it out here when Eddie is spilling his heart?]

But hey. That's... That is great, man. Thanks for telling me. And I'm real fucking proud of you for figuring that all out.

Is that why you're here? LA-- gay capital, USA? Need a fellow LGBTQ to hang around with?

So is that you telling me you don't want to get brunch with me? Because I saw like five places offering bottomless mimosas on the way here.

( It's said with a smile and a hope to add some levity to the moment. Still there's something nice about the weight and warmth of Richie's hand on his shoulder. After a brief pause, he just can't help reaching up, placing his own over it and squeezing. )

Thanks, Rich. It was you that told me I could be brave, yeah? ( And once again, he smiles. )

Well, no— you're my friend. I thought about the others but when it really came down to it I just really wanted to be near you.

[Eddie just wanted to be with him. Richie can't help the sappy, pleased smile that breaks out over his face. All he'd ever wanted as a kid was for Eddie to pay attention to him. As a youth it was just because he was fun to annoy. It was when he got older that he realized all of it had been something more.

But even now, that's all he wants. All he ever wants. And he's got it.]

I always knew I was your favorite, Spagheds. And now we can go brunching and picking up dudes.

[The thought made him vaguely ill.]

Eventually. But right now let's just ... Let's feed ya and catch up on the fucking grenade you tossed into your life. Amazing.

( Oh. Once again, Eddie can feel the burn of a blush coming alive on his features again when he sees that pleased smile break out across Richie's features. God... had he always been this handsome? He's sure that his heart is beating so fast and hard now that even Richie can he it from where he's standing. )

Brunching, yes but I'm not going out with you to look for dates. I thought people had dating apps for that shit now?

( Even if the idea just sounded... terrible. )

But yeah, it'll be great getting out together. I haven't seen you in person in ages, dude.

Yeah. The last time you were still all...

[He waves his hand around his own chest to suggest impalement and surgery and everything else awful that they'd gone through. Lucille, seeing this, barks at Richie and he stops.]

But you're looking good now, man. Real good.

[He flushes himself a bit considering just how good Eddie looks.]

Uh. But. Yeah. Food, right? You need food?

Barely holding myself together with a hole through me? Yeah, uh— you know I remember when you left to head home. I was high as a fucking kite but I remember holding your wrist and telling you I didn't want you to leave because I wanted to beat you in Street Fighter.

( He laughs, smiling and warmly reaches out to take Richie's hand and squeezes it. A small piece of proof to show that Yes, I'm alive. )

I'm good now though. I mean I still have some issues and my chest fucking hurts when its cold but I finished up physical therapy and I'm off most of my serious medications.

( With another smile, he lets his hand go and settles back. )

Yeah, uh— that would be cool, right? You probably need some food too plus its nice out. We could just order in too. Whatever you want, man. I just wanna spend some time with you.

[ Richie smiles and ignores the way his hand is tingling all over from that one little squeeze. Yeah, he's a complete goner on this man but that is okay. He's fine. It won't get in the way of their hanging out and being friends. Even though Eddie now has said he's gay, too. Yeah.

Nope. ]

Let's order in from the diner down the block. They have some pretty epic pancakes and I'm sure they'll have an egg white omelet with spinach and vitamin supplements for you.

[ He goes to put some coffee on for them both and pulls out his phone to hit 'Reorder' on his last UberEats visit to that place before handing it over to Eddie.

His hand is still tingling. ]

So. How did Mom-ra take the whole divorce shit? I'm a little surprised I'm not seeing blood seeping through your clothes. And you have all your appendages. Impressive.

Yeah? I mean that sounds good and all but I think I'm gonna get some pancakes too. ( He takes the phone easily once its handed over to him, scrolling through everything before settling on pancakes and what looks like the fattest slices of bacon that he's ever seen. ) There's no point in forcing myself to go without anymore, you know?

( Still Eddie has to roll his eyes at the nickname before shrugging a little. )

She threw her wedding ring at me and figured something more must have happened when I went to Derry which isn't a lie. I think she's convinced I'm in love with Bev which I had to laugh because like— did she not see Ben? He could bench press me easily.

[ Richie sends out the order and slides the phone onto his kitchen island, out of the way. Now he can just look at Eddie. Gorgeous, alive Eddie. Here for him. Just to spend time with him. And gay. How was this not a dream? ]

If you caught that ring we could hock it and get a real nice dinner, I'm sure. Good way to celebrate being free and out. And we can both talk about Ben and how we should have realized we were both gay that first dinner when we couldn't get over how hot he was.

Well, you know, I did keep mine so I could get you a nice dinner for putting up with me in your home.

( Unable to help his nervous energy, Eddie moves to get a better look at the living space. He ends up moving over to the a small table decorated in a record player and records that definitely scream Richie Tozier. Thumbing through a few, he smiles and finally decides on one to play. It's something simple from their youth, easy-going and most importantly— )

C'mon Trashmouth. Get over here and be my first celebratory free and out dance. We gotta practice for Ben and Bev's future wedding anyway.

[ Richie, once more, freezes where he stands. All he can manage to do is blink and even that is a strain on him. ]

I...dance?

[He walks closer on numb feet. His eyes are wide even without the glasses magnifying them. ]

I'm not a great dancer. You...uh. You're sure you want to dance? With me?

You dance. ( He says nodding, grinning but its offered with a warm look. ) Yeah, and? That didn't stop you at Prom.

( Eddie steps closers once Richie stops, frozen and with saucer eyes but he just takes a breath. They've been dancing around each other since Derry, inching closer to something that Eddie was afraid of addressing and putting a name to it. Afraid that he might push Richie away in the process.

Still that doesn't stop him from reaching out to take Richie's hand and lead them to his waist as his hands go up to rest on his friend's shoulders. )

Besides this'll make up for you not dancing with me at Prom but dancing with Bill.

[ The prom. Yeah. Richie remembers that. He had thrown up five times and once nearly on Stan's feet as he psyched himself up to ask Eddie for a dance. Just one. As a joke even though, for him, it was definitely not a joke at all. In the end, he'd chickened out at the last second and asked Bill for the joke dance.

He'd been disgusted and disappointed in himself for nearly the rest of the month. But maybe this really was him making up for that night. Being braver than he thinks he is... ]

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't want to dance with Bill. He was just the first person I saw when I wimped out from asking the real guy I wanted to dance with.

[ His arms loop around Eddie's waist as he takes a step closer and starts to lead the dance. Slow, gentle turns. His thumb rubs against the fabric of his shirt against Eddie's lower back. ]

I also stepped on his feet, so maybe you lucked out.

( Like everything else they do together even something like dancing is enough to way into step together. There's something to it that gets Eddie's heart racing as they start the slow, gentle turns and his hand comes to brush against the hairs at Richie's neck. Its intimate, terribly so but there's a sureness to his gesture that just feels right despite how hot his face feels. )

You'd be surprised how unlucky I felt that night.

( He admits with a quiet look, tempted to tuck his head against his friend's shoulder but holding back that particular urge for now. )

Maybe not as unlucky as the guy you didn't ask though. He, uh— he would have been a lucky guy, you know? Bill wins out as always.

[ Richie looks down at Eddie with a look of bemusement and surprise. Part of him thought that the other man would have cottoned on to how bad he had it for him as a kid. But apparently not. ]

Lucky to have his toes stomped on? Hardly.

[ He swallows and braces himself on a long inhale. ]

Knowing that guy, he woulda been real worried that I broke a toe or...I don't know. Didn't wash my hands well enough to hold his. He was kinda like that.

( There is a quiet moment when Eddie looks up at Richie with a soft look. Because, yeah, okay— he gets it and maybe he hadn't seen it as a kid but perhaps he was too busy being upset that Richie couldn't see how bad he had it for him. )

Lucky to have danced with you even with toes getting stomped on.

( Another smile appears as he tightens his grip slightly. )

Oh, yeah? Honestly I think he would've just been happy to have you looking at him as more than just a friend.

[Richie's heart is going to beat out of his chest. It is going to explode out and jump into Eddie's arms because that's where it's always wanted to be and the door seems open for that, now. Or at least has a crack open on it that hadn't been there before.

He pulls Eddie closer and adjusts his hands so his arms are almost completely wrapped around him.]

I'm pretty sure I was too convinced that looking at him that way would have gotten my eyes poked out. No one really talked about sexuality in the 80's unless they were talking about getting sick or going to hell.

I...I'm pretty sure I was just way too worried to take that risk, then. Even if I wanted to.

( Eddie is also of similar thoughts that his heart might just burst out of his chest but considering his is still healing its a pretty good concern to have, he thinks! He breathes out a sound, surprised but still happy as Richie pulls him closer.

He can't help the flush of color that once again appears on his features but his look is warm and the smile is certainly unmistakable. )

You could have talked to me. ( Me not him as the hand holding Richie's neck tightens gently. ) I could have talked to you. I think if anyone would be worth the risk then it would be—

( The doorbell rings, startling Eddie although he doesn't step back immediately. )

Shit, dammit, I completely forgot about the food.

[The restaurant isn't far. Richie should have known it would be here fast. He groans and lets his forehead fall against Eddie's.]

This is the worst timing. Fuck. Just. Hold that thought. And this position. And. Everything. Just hold. I'll... Yeah.

[He breaks away with a groan before going to get the food as fast as possible. He almost slides from the door back to the living room in his hurry. The bags go onto the floor in a heap.]

Okay. Alright. Where were we? Can we just pretend that didn't happen?

( Oh, okay, so Eddie didn't think he could be anymore red but Richie is bound and determined to prove him wrong. Even if his friend couldn't hear the sound of his heart, he has to be able to feel the heat and energy radiating off him now. )

Y-yeah, okay, sure. ( He murmurs and watches as Richie breaks away, hating it more than he cares to admit but unable to help chuckling as he almost busts his ass sliding back into the living room. ) Right, well—

( He steps in close again, more just pressing close than really looking for a dance as he glances up at Richie's face. )

We were at the point where I was going to ask you to go out. On a date, I mean if you want to— um— with me if that wasn't clear either.

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