respirations | ― open post.

Barely holding myself together with a hole through me? Yeah, uh— you know I remember when you left to head home. I was high as a fucking kite but I remember holding your wrist and telling you I didn't want you to leave because I wanted to beat you in Street Fighter.

( He laughs, smiling and warmly reaches out to take Richie's hand and squeezes it. A small piece of proof to show that Yes, I'm alive. )

I'm good now though. I mean I still have some issues and my chest fucking hurts when its cold but I finished up physical therapy and I'm off most of my serious medications.

( With another smile, he lets his hand go and settles back. )

Yeah, uh— that would be cool, right? You probably need some food too plus its nice out. We could just order in too. Whatever you want, man. I just wanna spend some time with you.

[ Richie smiles and ignores the way his hand is tingling all over from that one little squeeze. Yeah, he's a complete goner on this man but that is okay. He's fine. It won't get in the way of their hanging out and being friends. Even though Eddie now has said he's gay, too. Yeah.

Nope. ]

Let's order in from the diner down the block. They have some pretty epic pancakes and I'm sure they'll have an egg white omelet with spinach and vitamin supplements for you.

[ He goes to put some coffee on for them both and pulls out his phone to hit 'Reorder' on his last UberEats visit to that place before handing it over to Eddie.

His hand is still tingling. ]

So. How did Mom-ra take the whole divorce shit? I'm a little surprised I'm not seeing blood seeping through your clothes. And you have all your appendages. Impressive.

Yeah? I mean that sounds good and all but I think I'm gonna get some pancakes too. ( He takes the phone easily once its handed over to him, scrolling through everything before settling on pancakes and what looks like the fattest slices of bacon that he's ever seen. ) There's no point in forcing myself to go without anymore, you know?

( Still Eddie has to roll his eyes at the nickname before shrugging a little. )

She threw her wedding ring at me and figured something more must have happened when I went to Derry which isn't a lie. I think she's convinced I'm in love with Bev which I had to laugh because like— did she not see Ben? He could bench press me easily.

[ Richie sends out the order and slides the phone onto his kitchen island, out of the way. Now he can just look at Eddie. Gorgeous, alive Eddie. Here for him. Just to spend time with him. And gay. How was this not a dream? ]

If you caught that ring we could hock it and get a real nice dinner, I'm sure. Good way to celebrate being free and out. And we can both talk about Ben and how we should have realized we were both gay that first dinner when we couldn't get over how hot he was.

Well, you know, I did keep mine so I could get you a nice dinner for putting up with me in your home.

( Unable to help his nervous energy, Eddie moves to get a better look at the living space. He ends up moving over to the a small table decorated in a record player and records that definitely scream Richie Tozier. Thumbing through a few, he smiles and finally decides on one to play. It's something simple from their youth, easy-going and most importantly— )

C'mon Trashmouth. Get over here and be my first celebratory free and out dance. We gotta practice for Ben and Bev's future wedding anyway.

[ Richie, once more, freezes where he stands. All he can manage to do is blink and even that is a strain on him. ]

I...dance?

[He walks closer on numb feet. His eyes are wide even without the glasses magnifying them. ]

I'm not a great dancer. You...uh. You're sure you want to dance? With me?

You dance. ( He says nodding, grinning but its offered with a warm look. ) Yeah, and? That didn't stop you at Prom.

( Eddie steps closers once Richie stops, frozen and with saucer eyes but he just takes a breath. They've been dancing around each other since Derry, inching closer to something that Eddie was afraid of addressing and putting a name to it. Afraid that he might push Richie away in the process.

Still that doesn't stop him from reaching out to take Richie's hand and lead them to his waist as his hands go up to rest on his friend's shoulders. )

Besides this'll make up for you not dancing with me at Prom but dancing with Bill.

[ The prom. Yeah. Richie remembers that. He had thrown up five times and once nearly on Stan's feet as he psyched himself up to ask Eddie for a dance. Just one. As a joke even though, for him, it was definitely not a joke at all. In the end, he'd chickened out at the last second and asked Bill for the joke dance.

He'd been disgusted and disappointed in himself for nearly the rest of the month. But maybe this really was him making up for that night. Being braver than he thinks he is... ]

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't want to dance with Bill. He was just the first person I saw when I wimped out from asking the real guy I wanted to dance with.

[ His arms loop around Eddie's waist as he takes a step closer and starts to lead the dance. Slow, gentle turns. His thumb rubs against the fabric of his shirt against Eddie's lower back. ]

I also stepped on his feet, so maybe you lucked out.

( Like everything else they do together even something like dancing is enough to way into step together. There's something to it that gets Eddie's heart racing as they start the slow, gentle turns and his hand comes to brush against the hairs at Richie's neck. Its intimate, terribly so but there's a sureness to his gesture that just feels right despite how hot his face feels. )

You'd be surprised how unlucky I felt that night.

( He admits with a quiet look, tempted to tuck his head against his friend's shoulder but holding back that particular urge for now. )

Maybe not as unlucky as the guy you didn't ask though. He, uh— he would have been a lucky guy, you know? Bill wins out as always.

[ Richie looks down at Eddie with a look of bemusement and surprise. Part of him thought that the other man would have cottoned on to how bad he had it for him as a kid. But apparently not. ]

Lucky to have his toes stomped on? Hardly.

[ He swallows and braces himself on a long inhale. ]

Knowing that guy, he woulda been real worried that I broke a toe or...I don't know. Didn't wash my hands well enough to hold his. He was kinda like that.

( There is a quiet moment when Eddie looks up at Richie with a soft look. Because, yeah, okay— he gets it and maybe he hadn't seen it as a kid but perhaps he was too busy being upset that Richie couldn't see how bad he had it for him. )

Lucky to have danced with you even with toes getting stomped on.

( Another smile appears as he tightens his grip slightly. )

Oh, yeah? Honestly I think he would've just been happy to have you looking at him as more than just a friend.

[Richie's heart is going to beat out of his chest. It is going to explode out and jump into Eddie's arms because that's where it's always wanted to be and the door seems open for that, now. Or at least has a crack open on it that hadn't been there before.

He pulls Eddie closer and adjusts his hands so his arms are almost completely wrapped around him.]

I'm pretty sure I was too convinced that looking at him that way would have gotten my eyes poked out. No one really talked about sexuality in the 80's unless they were talking about getting sick or going to hell.

I...I'm pretty sure I was just way too worried to take that risk, then. Even if I wanted to.

( Eddie is also of similar thoughts that his heart might just burst out of his chest but considering his is still healing its a pretty good concern to have, he thinks! He breathes out a sound, surprised but still happy as Richie pulls him closer.

He can't help the flush of color that once again appears on his features but his look is warm and the smile is certainly unmistakable. )

You could have talked to me. ( Me not him as the hand holding Richie's neck tightens gently. ) I could have talked to you. I think if anyone would be worth the risk then it would be—

( The doorbell rings, startling Eddie although he doesn't step back immediately. )

Shit, dammit, I completely forgot about the food.

[The restaurant isn't far. Richie should have known it would be here fast. He groans and lets his forehead fall against Eddie's.]

This is the worst timing. Fuck. Just. Hold that thought. And this position. And. Everything. Just hold. I'll... Yeah.

[He breaks away with a groan before going to get the food as fast as possible. He almost slides from the door back to the living room in his hurry. The bags go onto the floor in a heap.]

Okay. Alright. Where were we? Can we just pretend that didn't happen?

( Oh, okay, so Eddie didn't think he could be anymore red but Richie is bound and determined to prove him wrong. Even if his friend couldn't hear the sound of his heart, he has to be able to feel the heat and energy radiating off him now. )

Y-yeah, okay, sure. ( He murmurs and watches as Richie breaks away, hating it more than he cares to admit but unable to help chuckling as he almost busts his ass sliding back into the living room. ) Right, well—

( He steps in close again, more just pressing close than really looking for a dance as he glances up at Richie's face. )

We were at the point where I was going to ask you to go out. On a date, I mean if you want to— um— with me if that wasn't clear either.

[Richie's mouth falls open. Not because he's shocked although, yeah. Even seeing this coming it is still a little surprising. But really, it falls open because he's desperate to say something but his voice is just gone.

He gapes like a fish for a long second before his arms go back around Eddie and he can finally make out words.]

Yes! I mean, yes! It's clear you meant you. And yes I want to go out with you. Jesus fucking Christ, I've wanted to go out with you since I knew what 'going out' meant. I had like this notebook under my bed with a million different ideas about how to take you on a date without making it super fucking obvious. Like I could just trick you into dating me. Fucking stupid. Real stupid. But yeah. Yeah. Yes! Yes, date! Date with me! And you. You're definitely required. So yes, you and me. And...

[He steps back but takes Eddie's hand as he babbles]

You're hungry, right? We can go now. Let's go. There's a diner close which is good an- oh. Shit. We ordered food from there. But whatever! Uh. We can...save that? Or throw it away? Or fuck it, I don't know. Whatever. But we can date!

Shit. Okay. I might be messing this up...

( Eddie can only stand and absorb everything as it comes spilling out of Richie. He'd laugh, perhaps. Although he worries that Rich might get the wrong idea if he did and instead lets him run at the mouth to get everything out. It reminds him of being a teenager again, in a way, as Richie goes on and on which just equals to Eddie carrying the warmest, sappiest look on his face.

Eventually though he has to reach up, take Richie's face in his hands and shake his head in response to even the idea that his friend was somehow messing this up. )

Richie, Rich— nothing you could do would mess this up for me.

( He steps back then and lets Richie once again take his hands, squeezing them in a reassuring manner before making a thoughtful sound. )

Why don't we have a date here? A trial date, maybe? Because I'm like super exhausted from that flight and also I look like shit but you're deck is nice so... brunch date on the deck?

Okay. First of all? Fuck you. You've never looked like shit a day in your life. Even bleeding out and covered in grey water you were still obnoxiously attractive. It's like a fucking curse.

Second of all, yes. Yeah, that's a good idea. You just...

[Richie takes Eddie by the hands and leads him to the couch.]

You just sit. Or take your stuff to the guest room upstairs. Or whatever. Just. Let me take care of setting up the patio. First date. Holy shit. Yes. Okay.

[And with that and a sappy smile, he grabs the bags and takes off running to the kitchen to grab plates and glasses and various other things to make this brunch date perfect.]

Wow, okay, shut the fuck up. I looked like absolute shit with nearly everything inside me threatening to fall out.

( He's chopping his hand through the air as he says this, frowning but still following as Richie leads him over to the couch. Eddie doesn't sit immediately, glancing to his luggage and nodding. Right, okay— that was a good idea. )

I'll take my things upstairs. It'll give me the chance to clean up a bit, so uh— I'll be right back down.

( With Richie going one way, Eddie returns to his things and hobbles up the stairs with his suitcase. It's easy enough to find the guest room, breathing in a deep breath and setting his things down. Right, okay, he could do this— first time seeing your best friend in months and now you're going on a date. A date at his house, where he lives now too but a date nevertheless.

Thankfully its easy enough to freshen up real quick, washing his face and changing out of his plane clothes into something a little nicer. He even takes a moment to fix his terrible hair, breathing out another sigh and glancing himself over. He feels off, too skinny from recovery but hoping he doesn't look terrible. The shirt he has picked out hangs low enough on his collar to show the faint beginnings of his scar and Eddie can't help swallowing awkwardly.

Rich wouldn't care, he knows he wouldn't care but— )

Get it together, Eds.

( He whispers, shaking his head and heading back downstairs and trying to ignore all the nervous energy he feels coursing through his veins. Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he glances around before looking to the open doors leading to the patio and peeking outside. )

Rich?

[Richie isn't sure how much time he's going to have so he moves fast. Or as fast as an old man like him can, at any rate. Still, he hustles.

The first thing he does is move the table closer to his pool. Scenery, right? He clears the top of it off with windex and paper towels because if anyone was going to notice the dust on it, it was gonna be Eddie. Even if his plan involved covering most of that table almost immediately, it was the details that mattered.

He put out place mats that he got from who knew where. The food all goes on platters and plates so that it is almost fancy looking. Richie arranges them like he's gonna take some Instagram photos and then rushes to get coffee, juice, and some candles that literally still have the plastic on them because he never fucking uses candles. Except for now.

When he's done Richie is almost panting with how much he'd been running around. But then Eddie was calling his name and nothing else really matters after that.]

Hey!

[He grins at Eddie and gestures at the table with flourish.]

Ta da! I can clean up for a date, huh? Oh, wait. Shit. Music. I should....

[He pulls out his phone and starts fumbling with it, trying to open Spotify and not have his embarrassing music blare out of it.]

Fuck. One sec. I have a playlist, I think...

( Immediately upon seeing Richie, Eddie can't help smiling at the sight of the other man and trying even harder to ignore how badly his heart is racing. He steps outside onto the patio with his head tilted upwards toward the sun before looking back to Richie as the other man gestures toward the table with a flourish.

It is really nice and he hopes that the warm smile on his face is enough to give that away as he approaches Richie. He's literally fumbling with his phone and Eddie hopes he doesn't throw his off even more when he steps in close, lifts up slightly on his tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to Richie's cheek. )

It looks perfect, Rich. Seriously it all looks awesome.

[The very expensive iPhone Richie owns immediately falls to the floor at that small kiss. Thankfully, he had the foresight to purchase an Otterbox for it long ago so when he scoops it back up between light curses, it is pretty much fine. Richie on the other hand is a bright shade of red and looking even more flustered now than before.

But he's smiling. So. There's that.]

Yeah? Yeah. I...uh. Yeah.

[He pockets his phone and smiles a bit goofily as he rubs at the spot Eddie kissed. It tingles.]

Let's. Um. Food, yes. Date. Oh! Let me...

[He rushes to Eddie's seat and pulls the chair out.]

Monsieur

( If Eddie was a lesser man then he'd probably laugh over the sight of Richie dropping his phone. After all it was something else to see Richie actually at a loss for words or doing something like fumbling his phone like he was a giddy teenager. Though, honestly, Eddie was just as giddy and there is color high on his own cheekbones.

It only colors his face a deeper shade of red as Richie moves to pull his seat out, chuckling but moving to sit. )

Ah, um— merci. ( He sits back, scooting in with Richie's help before glancing back over with another smile as his friend joins him at the table. ) I couldn't have imagined something like this happening today, you know?

You couldn't? Fuck, Eds. I was asleep like forty minutes ago and now suddenly I am on a date with my childhood crus-

[He freezes, not really wanting to get into all of that so soon. As always his mouth got him into trouble. Richie walks to his seat and sits down without really looking at Eddie just yet. He sips on his coffee and clears his throat.]

Yeah. I am pretty stunned by this turn of events myself. But it's good. Maybe the best surprise I've gotten in a long ass time.

Yeah, uh— I used to daydream about shit like this.

( His own dip into the truth even if it is all so soon. Ultimately, Eddie swallows and looks up at Richie will a smile. )

But I'm glad, really. I just don't want you to think that I came out here, showed up on your doorstep and admitted all this because you're some rebound or I'm some lonely fuck that's taking advantage of a friend.

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