respirations | ― open post.

[Richie snorts a laugh right into his mug.]

Eds. Babe. You can absolutely take advantage of me. Like, please. Whenever you want, I am ready and able to be used however you need. The idea that you would take advantage of me is more a fantasy than a fear so seriously. I'm not concerned.

[He smiles at Eddie warmly before giving him a wink.]

Now. Daydreams, you say. How about we keep talking about that?

( Once again, a flush of color blossoms onto his features before taking a long needed sip of his own coffee. )

I'm not going to take advantage of you, jackass.

( Still he smiles shyly, setting his cup down and reaching to start cutting into his pancakes. )

I mean it was just basic teenage daydream bullshit. I just really wanted to go to the movies with you and hold your hand.

[That is enough to have him calm down and give Eddie a smile that is all warmth and affection. God, he is such an adorable person. How did Richie ever forget someone as amazing as him?]

You're so cute. So fucking cute.

[He reaches his hand out over the table and wiggles his fingers at Eddie so he can take it in his own. ]

There may not be a movie playing but I can grant half of that wish.

I'm not cute, Rich. Jeez— I'm forty, you know.

( Still there is this flush of color on his face that Eddie wouldn't be able to deny. It lights up from the tips of his ears and falls all the way down to his neck. He can't help eyeing Richie as the other man reaches out across the table, wiggling his fingers and (at first) Eddie's only response is to swallow hard. )

Well, um— it's more than what I ever thought I'd get. ( It's said lightly, Eddie unable to help smiling as he reaches out and takes Richie's hand. It gets his heart pounding rapidly, a common theme of the day and he just can't help the rambling that follows. )

I thought about all sorts of dumb things, you know? Going to the drive-in or going and seeing the ocean together. Everything I wanted, I also wanted to do it with you.

And you are an adorable forty. The cutest forty in the entire world.

[Eddie's hand is in his own and Richie's heart is in his throat. He smiles wide though and strokes his thumb over the back of Eddie's knuckles. Over his bare ring finger. He gives special attention, there. ]

How were we both so stupid? I mean, you more so than me because I was fucking obvious. I was practically hanging on your side and pulling your pigtails since we were six. You didn't realize I was in love with you?

There's nothing cute about being forty.

( Still the feeling of Richie's hand holding his own is like a fucking dream come true. It is a dream come true and Eddie can't help as he continues to glance to their hands like if he looks away too long then all of this might vanish and he'll wake up back in New York. )

You were obvious; I was fucking obvious, man. I mean I found any excuse to try talking with you and I would just pick fights to get your attention. I mean why do you think I was always throwing myself into the hammock with you? So, yeah, we were both stupid and―

( And oh. So, yeah, he might realize just what Richie said and somehow his face grows even redder as he sits there, mouth open and fork full of pancakes. )

You were in love with me?

[Oh. Okay. That was... Yeah. Not what Richie had meant to say at all. Way to go, idiot. Just blurting out your feelings like that when you two are just getting to the point of holding hands?

Richie goes beet red and has to focus on not dropping Eddie's hand immediately, like it was on fire. ]

I... uh. Yeah, man. I was... Fuck. Okay. Yeah, I was in love with you.

[Richie looks down at his own food and shovels some eggs into his mouth. He can't look at Eddie as he says this. ]

And you weren't obvious. I just thought you were torturing me all that without realizing it. But yeah. I was kind of obsessed with you. Carve-your-initial-on-the-kissing-bridge level obsessed. Which might be a lot to drop on you right now. But. Yeah. Yeah, I was in love with you.

[He coughs and shoves his face into his mug so it will muffle him as he mumbles.]

Dunno if I ever really stopped...

( Perhaps sensing Richie's thoughts in the moment, Eddie squeezes his hand in hopes of both calming Rich's nerves and his own racing heart.

He listens quietly as the other man talks, fork still held in his other hand but unable to even think about eating when Richie was literally laying everything out in front of him like this. Although he had hoped to control his beating heart, all he can feel is it pumping harder and harder until Eddie thinks the damn thing might actually explode in his chest. )

I would never torture you. I just wanted you to notice me. ( He mumbles lightly, sadly as Rich proceeds to further blown the air out of his lungs. Even more so as he mumbles into his cup and Eddie is torn on just what to do. There is a million and one thoughts rushing through his mind before he finally breathes out and say: )

I want you to kiss me, Richie. Please.

[His head snaps up and Richie's eyes go wider than the entire table they're sitting at. Sure, he thought maybe this would happen at some point. They are on a date and they are holding hands and talking about liking one another. Surely they would at some point kiss. But Richie hadn't expected it so soon and he hasn't really convinced himself that this was all true yet.

But Eddie had asked him for a kiss and Richie, as always, is helpless to refuse him.

He gets up, still holding Eddie's hand, and walks around the table to stand beside the man he loves so desperately. His hands are trembling-- both the one that Eddie has and the one that comes up now to cradle Eddie's jaw. All of Richie is trembling just a little. His heart is going to explode inside his chest but at least he will die happy.]

You...You're sure? Please be sure. Because once I kiss you once I know I am going to want to do it again and again, as long as you let me.

( It's hard not to look away, face red and trembling slightly as Richie's head snaps up at his request. A part of Eddie is worried that it was the wrong thing to ask and that maybe Rich was having second thoughts about everything that had happened since he showed up at the other man's front door. It's only with a deep breath that he looks back, peeking at Richie and making another wheezed sound of surprise as his friend gets up.

He has to shift his chair in order to face him, looking up and visibly tense but it all seems to bleed out of him once Richie comes to cradle his jaw. God― this alone, he thinks, would be enough and he can't help nuzzling his face against the other man's hand with a sigh. This would definitely be enough but he was just so greedy, he wants so much more and― )

Yeah, I'm sure. I want this, Rich and I want it again and again because― ( And he breathes out, smile warm and his look soft. ) I love you too. I think I've always loved you.

[And that is all he needs to hear. Richie smiles with tears coming up in his eyes as he looks down at Eddie. He said that he loved him too. Richie tries to process that and it's almost too much for him. Almost too much for him to even believe. He'll have to deal with it later.

For now he just leans down. He keeps his hand on Eddie's jaw and enjoys the feeling of Eddie leaning into it. Just relishes the feeling of closeness for a moment before finally acting on every single fantasy he's had since he started puberty (and maybe a bit from before).

Richie leans the rest of the way and ever so gently presses his lips against Eddie's. At least at first. But then the reality of the kiss and the feeling of Eddie's lips against his own makes him press in harder and firmer. Properly kissing his friend as he had requested he do.

And if Richie has a tear or two leaking down his cheek during the kiss, well. That's his own business.]

( Once again there is a beat of worry that runs through Eddie in the silence that follows. He worries (as always, he fucking worries) that perhaps he had said the wrong thing and that perhaps this just wasn't meant to be or it was too much, too fast but hadn't they waited long enough? The clown had taken almost everything from them and he had almost died in that fucking cave, no― he had died, more than once but now he had this fucking second chance.

A second chance that he couldn't waste― not again.

Thankfully Richie leaning down is more than enough to bring him back into the present. His breath catches in his throat but once Rich kisses him? It's like everything finally made sense for the first time in his fucking life. For a moment, he can only sit there stunned but as Richie deepens the kiss its like being hit by a bolt of lightning and he moves to return it with just as much neediness.

It's a struggle but he pushes him up and out of the with his hand still holding Richie's own but bringing the other to wrap around his neck without breaking the kiss as he raises to his feet to pull them close together. )

[Eddie is standing and that lets Richie press against him in a way he's always wanted to. The arm around his neck is grounding and keeps them close. Eddie's body is smaller than his own but is so strong and warm. So alive. Richie breaks the kiss for a second so he can choke out a small sob that's half elated and half overwhelmed. He doesn't let the break last too long before he's kissing Eddie all over again. As long as he can before breathing becomes necessary. ]

Jesus...

[He sniffles hard and lets out a wet-sounding chuckle. He's smiling as he pulls back and looks at Eddie. And, yeah, he might be crying a little but whatever. It's either cry or have a heart attack so this is less dramatic.]

Twelve year old me is so jealous right now...

( He can't help (and doesn't want to help) the soft pleasurable sound that escapes him as they kiss. Eddie also can't help how he holds onto Richie like a fucking lifeline because, goddamn, he wants to climb him like a fucking tree but he manages to quell that particular fucking urge.

Instead he focuses in on Richie's features as he breaks away, breathing near panting but concerned at the choked out sob that escapes the other man. He doesn't get the chance to ask or speak because Richie is kissing him again, gasping into the kiss and once again gripping at Rich's shirt almost in desperation. )

Richie― ( Eddie can't help but reach up and cup his face, brushing tears away with his thumb before ultimately leaning in to press soft kisses against his skin. ) Yeah? I gotta say that twelve-year-old is equally screaming curses right now over my luck.

[He laughs and then cries harder at those soft kisses. Richie leans into Eddie's touch and wraps his arms around his waist to just hold him close. When he can finally slow his tears down a bit, he leans in and kisses Eddie again. Long and loving and just enjoying the fact that he could do this, now. Finally. After all this time. ]

God. We wasted so much time. I almost lost this forever. I was such a fucking moron.

[His greedy eyes look all over Eddie as he drinks him in.]

Eddie. Eds. You...you're everything to me. I'm not wasting another second after this. Okay? Not a single second.

( It almost feels shockingly out of place to be here, in this moment, comforting Richie as he cries. Eddie can remember so many times that Richie was the one comforting him instead. It feels strange but also good, he likes that for once he can offer someone comfort instead of being smothered in worry from people that pretended it was out of love instead of wanting to tether him down forever.

Thankfully, Richie kisses him again and brings him out of his descent into those memories. Without a second thought, he moves to return it and simply allows himself to enjoy the taste of Richie on his lips until they part. )

It wasn't our fault that some fucking clown messed with our memories and made us forget each other.

( Although he blushes as Richie looks him over there is still a needy want that races through him and has him pressing closer to Rich. )

You're everything I ever wanted out of life. It's like I can finally start my life now that I've found you again.

God... I can't believe this is real. I can't believe you'd want me.

[He is sniffling as he leans into the touches and warmth that Eddie provides. When he presses in himself, Richie kisses the side of Eddie's face and rubs soft circles against his back. It's only about another second or two before he kisses him again, unable to stop himself.

He loves him so fucking much. ]

You do realize I'm an asshole, right? Like. You need to think this through before you sign up for the rest of your life. I'm probably gonna drive you crazy, sweetheart.

Then you better start believing because we have a lot of time to make up for here.

( Despite his joking tone, Eddie continues to handle Richie with soft touches and softer warmth that he hopes gets his feelings across. Certainly Richie's feelings are getting across making his heart both swell and ache as he tilts his face toward the kisses that are pressed against his face. He's grateful when they kiss again, focusing in instead on the feel and warmth of Richie's lip and skin instead of how close he is to crying too. )

I'm sorry but have you met me? I'm not exactly a saint here so you're gonna have to try harder to get rid of me, Rich. I speared a fucking space clown in the mouth for you so I think I can handle your assholery.

To be fair, I actually killed a human man who stabbed you. Like, okay, I didn't do it because he stabbed you but like. I would have punched him pretty hard if I knew that part...

[He's smiling and finally the tears slow to a trickle. Richie kisses Eddie on the nose and then again on the lips. Part of him wants to have them sit down and keep eating and the other part wants to drag Eddie inside and to the couch for more making out. As he wars between those instincts he traces Eddie's nose and scar with the tips of his fingers. ]

Okay. So we're doing this. You and me.

[He lets out a wet laugh.]

The group chat is going to lose their shit.

Yeah, I know you would have.

( And he leans in to the touch that Richie offers, starved for both attention and affection from the other man with a want to do nothing but drown in whatever he could offer him. It Eddie to press another kiss against Richie's lips before dipping to kiss his cheek, chin and down further against his neck. )

Mmm. You're stuck with me now, Rich. ( And he makes that clear with a small bite at his pulse point. ) Or they're going to be figuring out who owes who money.

( With a huff of laughter, he leans back and smile before wetting his lips with a glance back to their half-ate breakfast. )

Do you, uh— do you wanna head inside? Unless you're still hungry! But, um, if you're not then I figured we could maybe do this somewhere more comfortable?

[ Richie lets out a small gasp at the bite. Oh, okay. They were going to be playing it like that, huh? He could get onboard with it. He glances over at the breakfast as well before shrugging a shoulder and giving Eddie's rear a soft pinch.]

How about this: you go decide whether you want to make out on the couch or in my bed and I'll bring the food in so we can refuel when we're done and keep going until it's time to order dinner. Hm?

( Oh, wow, Eddie might actually jump a little with that pinch before ultimately burrowing his face back against Richie's shoulder with a laugh. Okay, yeah, he can do this and not immediately respond to everything like a horny sixteen-year-old on Prom night. )

Yeah, yeah— can I say both? Uh— is that weird? I mean I'd make out with you in a bathtub right now. ( And with that he moves back although he immediately hates the distance put between them. ) But, you're right! You're right because we do need to get the food up before birds or racoons or a fucking coyote shows up.

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