respirations | ― open post.

[Richie has been typing his message out and deleting it over an hour now. He's been struggling to find the proper words, anything to get Eddie to actually speak to him.

It's been close to two weeks now and his secret boyfriend, ex-boyfriend hasn't responded to any of his attempts.

Christ, he's such a fucking idiot but he didn't do what Eddie thought he did. He would never do something to hurt Eddie, he didn't fucking cheat.]

Hey....

Wanna skip your track meet and sneak off somewhere?

( He's busy in his AP Biology class when the text comes through. It's the final class of the day before Eddie's got to head off for his track meet at a school neighboring Bangor where they've been told recruiters from some of the surrounding universities for a chance of getting spotted and hopefully having a chance to get an offer. For a long moment, Eddie just stares at the screen and considers finally blocking Richie's fucking number to be done with this entire thing because every time another text comes through then he feels another nail struck into his heart.

There is a long sigh, Stan staring at him from across their table with a raised brow. Eddie simply shrugged in response before glancing back to his phone and although he moves to return it to his pocket, he sighs before beginning to type up a response. )

I can't. This is a fucking important meet for me.

If you want then you can pick me upwards.

( He's not sure if this is a good thing or not. The fucking rumors were still going around and plenty of pictures had showed up online with his boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) in a less than good position. )

(Richie honestly doesn't expect a response, Eds has had him on a hard ignore since these rumors have spread like wildfire. He's sitting in his car when the message comes through, he hits his head pretty hard once he jolts up in excitement, now cursing the world as he rubs at the injury.

He's spent most his day just driving around, he hasn't been to his classes in going on two weeks.

It's hurtful that Eddie doesn't believe him, that he's so quick to think that Richie would do something so cruel and stupid. Especially after they just had sex....

That wasn't all Richie wanted despite the word going around.)

I know how important the meet is to you, Eds.

Yeah....

Alright.

I just really think we should talk about all this shit.

( Eddie imagines it does feel hurtful but it's also fucking hurtful that this even happened to start with and, yeah, he's been ignoring Rich but Richie certainly hasn't tried reaching out to him beyond text. He also hadn't shown up at school since then so it certainly didn't help Eddie's thought process. He didn't want to believe this shit and didn't want to believe that Richie would turn around and cheat on him after their first time but—

But he wasn't exactly helping himself by vanishing off the face of the fucking world. )

Then why even ask if I wanted to skip it?

Whatever, anyway.

That's fine if you want to talk, I'll listen because I have my own fucking things to say.

(Richie has been trying to reach out to Eddie but he's been hardcore telling Richie to basically fuck off and that's just as hurtful. Eddie knows that Richie gets sensitive about their fights and right now it sure seems like no one wants him around, not even the rest of the Losers.

He's feeling extremely shunned and hated for something he didn't even do. Eddie was supposed to fucking trust him.)

Idk....

Good because I got a lot of fucking shit I want to say too, Eds.

One being I really don't fucking understand why you don't believe me.

I don't know because there's a bunch of people talking about it? There's fucking pictures that seem to show wants happening? Because instead of talking to me in person you thought texting me about it was a good idea?

I don't know what you want me to fucking tell you.

Anyway, I'm not doing this over text again. If you wanna talk then we'll talk tonight.

People have always talked a lot of shit in this shit hole town, man. Dunno why you're believing certain rumors now. I fucking tried talking to you in person and you weren't having it.

I tried calling you, coming to your house, nothing dude!

I want you to fucking believe ME instead of some lying ass pussies!

Because you only wanted to talk to me after I confronted you about it and those fucking pictures.

Anyway, whatever. I told you that I don't want to do this over text.

That's fucking not true at all Eds and you know it, man.

Then fucking talk to me! Stop avoiding me....

And fucking stop believing shit that isn't even true. Wht would I fucking cheat on you, dude?

What the fuck do you think I'm trying to plan with you right now? But, as fucking usual, you don't listen to me!

Just like I said I didn't want you going out to that fucking party but you went behind my back.

And I don't know why you do half the shit you do, Rich but fucking cut it out and STOP texting me about this. I said we'd talk, so we'll talk because I am not getting into this while in the middle of class but if you want to keep on then I'll just block your number.

You know what fucking forget it.

Just fucking forget everything.

That's it then? I ask for one thing in this and you can't even bother to respect that I don't want to do this over text right now.

You know how fucking important this meet is to me! Do you really think I wanna go into with all this shit in my head?

But, yeah, whatever. It's always about you so go ahead and fuck off.

Cause I'm real good at that, right? Fucking off and all that shit.

Yeah.

Okay.

Because it's always about you, isn't it? Seriously if you wanna talk then be there after my meet, if not then keep doing what you've been doing for the past two weeks and keep avoiding me.

I've out to finish up this shit for AP Bio so I'm turning off my phone.

( Eddie sticks to his word too and doesn't turn his phone back on until after the meet but, by then, he's already a mess. Not only emotionally but a mess physically now too. This shit has been weighing heavily on him, no doubt and their mini fight over text hadn't helped things especially when it came time for the meet this afternoon. So perhaps it's not that big of a deal that he's sitting alone, in the dark only luminated by a nearby streetlamp and wondering if he should go ahead and call his mom.

She was going to lose her fucking mind when she found out that he ate shit at the meet. His face is starting to bruise nicely but at least the nose bleed has stopped though it says nothing of the sprained ankle he now sports. The medical staff at the meet was nice enough to wrap it up for him but he knows that he'll probably have to go and see another doctor about it once his mom saw.

He glances at his phone again considering texting Rich but ultimately decided against it. If Rich wanted to talk to him then he would— )

(There is nothing but silence on Richie's end, no message returned because honestly what was the point?

He really highly considers driving off somewhere and getting totally fucked out of his mind, incredibly stoned or so damn drunk he near hits alcohol poisoning. He drives around well over an hour tossing the idea over in his mind.

Finally he comes to a resting stop in an old abandon parking lot, fingers gripped tight along the steering wheel. He waits a good few minutes before he falls apart, fist striking the steering wheel until flesh is torn and there is a good possibility he might have fractured fingers.

He screams until his throat hunts and continues punching until his hand goes numb.

He can't do this but he can't just leave Eddie either.

It sure is a fine time for his car to act like a fucking bitch, stalling a few good times before she decides to start. It's a wonder he didn't wreck or get pulled over at the speed he's going, still makes him late as all fuck.

Once on view, he spots Eddie waiting for him, arms wrapped tightly around himself. He nearly drives up on the side of the curb with how quick he pulls up.)

Shit, Eds I'm....(But he stops mid apology when he notices just how banged up the smaller boy is. Want to talk about triggering full on panic. )

Holy fuck! Holy shit, Eds are you fucking alright? (He's leaping out of the driver's seat in seconds, running around the car and to Eddie's side.)

Did someone fucking attack you?! (One protective Richie mode at your service.)

Let's get you into the fucking car.

( If asked, Eddie wouldn't say he was close to fucking crying about this shit but God this was just so frustrating. A part of him is tempted just to walk home before his mom reported him missing but just as he glances at his phone but just as he's gathering his bag, Eddie sees a familiar car pulling into the parking lot. He looks up, frowning but immediately worry bleeds into his features and his face as he notices the wounds on Richie's hands once he's out of the car. )

No one attacked me. ( He says quietly, quickly because he wants to kill that line of thought before it balloons in Richie's head more. ) What the fuck happened to you?

( He keeps trying to assess Richie's wound as the other boy ushers him into the car, Eddie sitting without a word and sighing. It's so familiar, safe and he knew Richie would worry because it's always been that way even before they were dating. Rich always worried about him not like how his mother worried but in his own softer way. It leaves him blushing, hiding it in the darkness of the car even as Richie gets back in the driver seat.

There's only a breath of a moment before he reaches out, grasping one of his hands and bringing it close to him with a frown. )

What the fuck, Rich. I ate shit at my meet during a run which like— I don't even want to talk about how badly I just fucked up my chances of getting a scholarship. What the fuck did you do.

(Richie is just as frustrated, he thought he had screamed or beat it all out but the feeling still lingered within the pit of his stomach. He just kept fucking up everything with Eddie, he hadn't meant to be so late but he knew this made him look like a piece of shit, that he didn't care about Eddie and their much needed conversation wasn't important. That isn't true, he's trying his best to keep his shit together.

He doesn't like getting emotional infront of Eddie.

Richie isn't a fighter but he will pound some ass if he knows someone has hurt Eddie. He isn't going to let some mullet wearing cock sucker beat on the boy he's in love with. Full out foolish of Richie but no one fucking harms Eddie Kaspbrak, fucking no one. Broken eyes are already scanning over the injuries as Eddie talks, an arm moves to wrap around Ed's tiny waist to offer support for his injured ankle. )

Goddamn car fucking stalled again. (He hisses into the night, avoiding the concern over his banged up hand.) I would have been here much sooner if the car wasn't such a bitch.

(While Eddie explains where his own injuries had happened, Richie can feel his stomach twist within tight knots, his skin growing pale within the dark. Eddie had been training for this meet for months, he had been so excited about it. Shit, could Richie fuck up more of the other boy's life? He turns his head away, the guilt already sinking in as he sits in silence.

He's going to be sick. Christ, he fucked up Eddie's big chance to get the hell out of this shit town.)

It's nothin. (He lies while pulling his damaged hand away from Eddie and resting it within his own lap. )

Maybe I should take you to the hospital? Get you checked out.

Yeah, well— at least you're here.

( He says quietly, frowning and idly pulling at the ace wrap covering his ankle as Eddie pulls his leg up. Pointedly Eddie tries to ignore the feel that ignites inside him when Richie's arm wraps around his waist so he focuses instead on the other's bruised and bloody hands with a huff. Carefully he reaches forward, opening the glovebox and removing the small first aid kit that he had hidden away in there. )

Give me your hand. ( He says, his own hand held out but is more than willing to grab one of Richie's hands if he doesn't offer it up. Quietly he works, ripping open a small alcohol wipe and starts to clean his knuckles. ) And, no. We're not going to the fucking hospital.

( It's said with almost a hiss of angry but not toward Richie but rather just the general thought of having to go to the hospital. )

If I wanted to go then I'd have had my mom come and pick me up.

(It doesn't take a genius to notice the discomfort on Eddie's face, the way he keeps fooling with the injured ankle. He's in pain, Richie knows he needs some type of medical attention or his mom will flip her shit. She'll place the blame on Richie none the less, always corrupting her precious baby boy.

Fuck, if all she knew. Richie had claimed Eddie's virginity just weeks ago. In the back seat of his this very car. )

I told you my hand was fine.(He mutters but Eddie is already at work, he's extremely good at all of this first aid stuff. Richie squirms in his seat, eyes fully focused on the way Eddie cleans him up but the gentle rubbing doesn't stop him from yanking his hand back, a series of curses words spilling from his lips.

His knuckles are on fire as the alcohol sinks into open cuts.)

Fine.

(He replies lowly as he nurses his burning hand by keeping it close to his chest.)

( Honestly the only reason his mom isn't blowing up his phone right now is because Eddie had begged his couch not to call her. She probably also wouldn't even consider Richie considering she has gleefully noticed his absence in her son's life over these last two weeks and more so her son's less than pleased mood whenever the other boy was brought up.

Eddie doesn't even want to think about the sort of shit they got up to in this car. He certainly doesn't want to think of her reaction (if she even lived long enough) if she ever found out he had lost his virginity to the other boy in the backseat of his car. So caught up in his thoughts he doesn't notice Richie's reaction until he's ripped his hand away. )

Just— just fucking stop and let me help for you for once. ( He says with a glare but it's weak and honestly? Eddie just looks fucking sad. ) Why even show up looking like this if you didn't want me to do something? You know how I'd react if I saw you fucking hurt like this, Richie!

(Richie can't say the same about his own parents because they are never around. He's pretty damn sure that they hardly notice anything about him, that alone what's going on in his life. He's willing to bet good money that he'll get a good scorning once they are notified that he's been absent from all his classes, fuck it.

How would react if they found out that he were gay? That he's been letting Eddie stay the night with him while they are a way and that he's actually had sex. He doubts they even notice he's at the age of being both sexually curious and active. He's been fooling around with Eddie close to a year now and well one night they finally went all the way.

Richie turns his head from the shouting, his eyes peering out the window. He isn't about to let Eddie see him blink back a few tears, more frustration twisting along his face.)

You're fucking hurt too, Eddie!

( He breathes in a sharp breath of air before raising his hands, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes and giving a shaky sound. He has to take a few needy breaths of air before he starts fucking crying right here in front of Richie when he's been trying so hard to keep a straight face because he wants so bad just to fix everything but realizing that it just isn't that simple anymore. )

It's just a sprained ankle and at least I'm bandaged up! Never mind, just— fucking never mind! I'll walk home. ( He says, fumbling for the door handle and pushing the door open. )

(Shit! Now he's actually made Eddie give into his emotions, shattered through those built up walls and has brought Eddie to actual tears. God, he's such a terrible boyfriend, best friend or whatever the hell he is right now. If he's anything to Eddie at all any more at this point. )

You're still fucking hurt, Eddie and its my fucking fault! (He basically shouts back but his own voice cracks from all the pain he's been carrying in his heart these past two weeks, he's fucking falling apart and he hates it.

He misses Eddie terribly and he's terrified he's lost him. )

Fucking stop it! (His hand goes out to reach for the door so that he can close it and keep Eddie inside.)

Your— you think this is your fault? Get over yourself, Richie. I fucking fell which has nothing to do with you! ( Once again, he just can't help the way his own voice cracks which says nothing about the burn of tears in his eyes. The last thing Eddie wants to do is fucking cry in front of Richie yet here he is doing just that. ) You're such an idiot—

( The sound he makes is just defeated and he falls back into the passenger seat with a wet hiccup sound. He hates crying and he especially hates crying in front of Richie but here they are with his gaze focused on discarded first-aid kit in his lap as if it had all the answers in the world. )

(Richie's face drops at Eddie's harsh words. Sure the other boy has called him plenty of names but none of them compare to the anger and hurt put behind this time. Idiot? Shit, it isn't even that serious but it rips Richie a part regardless. He turns his gaze away from Eddie, trembling hands stumble to start his car but finally he gets her up and going.

He remains silent as he begins to drive towards Eddie's house, it's best he doesn't say a word due to the possibility of either breaking down or spouting off something he'll regret later.

After all he is just an idiot. )

Young bb drama shhiiittteeeee

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