respirations | ― open post.

― open post.

EDDIE KASPBRAK it: chapter 2

voice strength: ★★★★★
shipping: i'm reddie trash but i'm also all about that platonic love with the other losers
preferences: gen, smut, shippy, angst, au, cross-canon, slice of life.
notes: for some fun starting points: some random assortment of memes and aus for days; feel free to go the other worldly route; also throw pics or random sentences at me and a kink generator because why not.

hit me up for starters if you'd like. there's no crying in baseball but there is crying in my rp but let's have fun, ok.

picture prompts • quote prompts • music prompts • etc

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[ richie will never understand what cosmic power could have possibly been strong enough to make him forget this feeling. every single time he's held eddie in his arms comes rushing back to him; every single kiss they've shared is alive again on his lips as they finally begin to recover what they've lost.

it makes his own heart pound, but when eddie kisses him the second time he can't help letting out a happy sort of sobbing sound, his arms squeezing the other man tighter against him.

when they part he chuckles weakly, completely blown away by the magnitude of what he's feeling. a love like this never seemed possible to the version of him that existed only moments ago.

as eddie kisses him over and over again he keeps laughing, soft and breathless, his eyes crinkling up at the corners from the smile he can't erase. ] What, that's all it takes now? [ sniffling, he gives eddie's side a playful tickle. ] Guess I'll have to say it so often you get desensitized, then.

[ it's a promise he more than intends to keep. ]

❪ it's still so hard to believe that he could have forgotten this. in a way, it scares him because he has to wonder just how powerful that creature truly is if it had the power to do something like this. to have erased such powerful emotions from all of them and push their lives in directions they might have originally gone.

but— but eddie tries to ignore those worries for now and focus on rich instead. focus on the happy sound he makes or the way his eyes still crinkle up in the corners when he smiles just like when he had been younger.

honestly, it's painful for him to smile thanks to bowers and his fucking knife but eddie just can't help it. he doesn't think he'll ever stop, at least not right now. ❫

Shut up, idiot. I've been waiting twenty years to hear you say it again and I didn't even know it. ❪ despite his word, he is smiling and sniffles lightly. ❫ I love you, Rich.

❪ he presses another kiss to his lips before pulling back and casting a glance around them. ❫ I love you but I have to get out of this fucking bathroom.

[ if there's one sliver of goodness in this fucked up town, richie thinks, it's the man standing in front of him. that alone gives him the fire he needs to go out and face his deepest, darkest fears.

seeing eddie smile only strengthens his resolve, even though it's clear he's still hurting from where that asshole bowers stabbed him. richie reaches up to press his palm against eddie's injured face, carefully avoiding the bandaged area as his thumb sweeps along the other's cheekbone. ]

I can't believe you, [ he says, that laugh still in his voice. when he hears eddie repeat those three words back at him, though, he has to bite his lip to keep his own tears from spilling over once again.

a million kisses wouldn't be enough, he thinks, as their lips touch. he wants to chase that feeling as eddie pulls away but the other man is right - it's too small in here, and the scent of blood and disinfectant is starting to be a little overwhelming. richie doesn't want to let go of him entirely, though, so as he steps away from eddie he lets his hand slip down the other's arm and grasp his hand, giving it a squeeze. ]

Let's go, [ he says, even though he doesn't know where they can go, where they'll finally be safe. ]

❪ he isn't sure where they might go either. at a lose, he considers back downstairs with the others but after everything the two of them just remembered? he's exhausted, tired beyond words almost and (in truth) he just wants to be with rich currently.

after all, they have no idea what will happen next. it's not bowers is their only problem and, at least, he's human. pennywise is something literally from beyond this world. something darker, more dangerous and although they fought it once before— who's to say things will go like they did before?

shaking his head, eddie grips tighter at richie's hand and leads them out of the bathroom and back into the room itself. he doesn't want to think about that. doesn't want to think about what might happen to tomorrow or even beyond this room. all that matters right now is rich. ❫

I love you, ❪ he says again, softer once they're back in rich's room. his free hand coming to trace his jawline because, god, twenty years have changed them yet everything still feels the same as that day in his driveway when rich left. it feels like there is still a lot left ahead of them to live out together.

so perhaps that's why he doesn't hold back when he presses forward, chest to chest, pressing their lips together. a touch needier, partly wanting to forget forget everything outside of them but mostly wanting to make up for lost time. ❫

[ richie lets eddie lead the way, too exhausted by the onslaught of memories to even
think about what to do next. they still have that fucking clown to kill but this - this feels right, feels so much more important than listening to mike's crazy theories and trying not to get killed by bowers.

once they're back in his room, it's easy to forget about all that stuff. it's easy to wrap his arms around eddie and return those kisses, to whisper his own I love you as his heart tries not to burst.

and when eddie presses against him like that -- ]

God, Eds --

[ whatever richie was going to say is cut off by that kiss. it feels so much like the way they kissed as teenagers, when their time together was limited only by the hours in the day and the patience of their parents. richie lifts a hand to comb through eddie's hair, still careful, fingertips brushing against the smooth strands with the sort of affection that only comes from being deeply, utterly in love. ]

You gotta be careful, [ he murmurs when their lips finally part. ] You're hurt.

[ it's not the same kind of admonishing eddie would hear from his mom or wife, though. it's a gentle reminder, not a warning; something for him to keep in mind, not something to keep him bound to a person or a place. ]

❪ his mind is a mess of long forgotten memories, shit he should have never forgotten and this renewed vigor to kill that fucking clown. yet eddie can't help slipping into the safety of this moment because that had always been the case, hadn't it? bad days, shitty days or the days where he just didn't feel like he could deal with it— rich always made them better.

just being with him and having those arms wrapped around him helped him to forget about the bad and remember the good. remember everything good he had with the other losers and most importantly: everything good he had with richie.

his heart and mind are both struggling to keep up with the onslaught of emotions returning but if one thing made sense, it was richie. that's why it isn't a hard decision to kiss him like this, to nudge them closer toward the bed although there is a brief pause at the other's murmured words that just leave eddie smiling fondly. ❫

I'll be okay, Richie. ❪ he says leaning in and nipping at his bottom lip. ❫ I'll tell you if I need to stop.

❪ he smiles again because that's always been richie's way. those soft, gentle reminders. eddie never had to worry about if rich saw him as his own person because it was something he always knew. ❫

[ richie knows they probably shouldn't be focusing on kissing right now, but it's impossible not to with all these memories and forgotten feelings crashing through him. he just wants this whole ordeal to be over, wants to kill It so they can go home and spend the rest of their lives together like they always said they would.

and, besides, he's never been able to say no to eddie.

there's still concern in his expression, but richie's appeased for the time being. he knows that eddie knows his own limits well enough to tell him when he needs a break, and - unlike myra and mrs. kaspbrak - that's always been enough. ]

Yeah, yeah, okay. [ he concedes, his expression softening as he kisses eddie again. he follows the other's movement towards the bed, eventually pulling gently, as if asking through touch for eddie to lay down next to him.

it's the first time they've made out like this, alone in richie's room, and he feels like his heart's about to pound out of his chest. he loves eddie so fucking much it scares him; he doesn't want to push too hard, go too fast, do something to fuck things up.

but eddie is always willing to go along with it. for some reason that richie doesn't think he'll ever understand, eddie is always right there with him. ]

I love you so much, Eddie, [ he says, unable to stop repeating it. ]

❪ there's probably a lot they should be focusing on besides making out like this. everyone is still downstairs though, to be honest, they had all been drinking and talking shit so it wasn't like they were missing much. it's harder still to ignore all these feelings and emotions crashing back after twenty years.

he still feels like that kid standing at the end of his driveway watching rich drive away, partly sad for what they'll (what they had) missed together but hopeful for something better. they can't leave, no matter how much his body screams because he can't risk losing this again. he can't risk losing stan, the others and especially rich again.

the flash of concern on the other's expression earns him a small smile and he chuckles as richie leans in to kiss him again. he readily returns it, hands splaying out across his waist and wasting no time following the gentle pulls to the bed.

they lay together in bed a lot, he notices. not that eddie minds. they kiss, hold hands and spend a lot of time exploring one another which eddie can never get enough of. he loves the feel of richie's body under his hands and loves the reactions he can get out of rich when his hands dip over sensitive spots.

it's such an incredible feeling. he's never felt this way about someone and he doubts he ever will again. richie is literally everything, he finds and maybe that's unfair but he can't bring himself to even humor the idea of what if they weren't together one day. he's so in love that it makes him dizzy but—

but he's more than willing to fall down as long as rich is there. ❫

I love you, I love you so much. ❪ he repeats himself as if trying to make up for ever missed opportunity over these last two decades. ❫ I'm never going to stop loving you.

[ hearing eddie repeat those three words back to him over and over makes richie want to start crying again. he tears up a little, but manages to hold most of it back by focusing on kissing eddie - on his lips, then his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, everywhere he can reach.

this man is the most precious thing in his life. he always has been, even when richie didn't have any idea who he was. there's no way in hell he's ever going to let go of him again. ]

Eds, [ he murmurs, not really sure what he wants to say but feeling the need to say something nonetheless, ] you're so - I can't believe - I missed you so fucking much, Eddie, I love you so much. So fucking much -

[ ah, shit, there are the tears.

he sniffles and tries to discreetly wipe at his eyes, but his heart's about to burst. how many times did eddie need him over the years? how many times could richie have helped him if he'd been able to remember what they went through? as good as it feels to be back together, there's still so much pain in his heart that he can't ignore no matter how hard he tries. ]

Fucking -- [ he closes his eyes, presses his forehead to eddie's, bites his lip. ] Just - fuck, Eds, I don't wanna let go of you. I don't want to lose you again.

❪ the tears are a surprise to see in some ways but, in other ways, eddie completely gets it. the emotional pull is strong, going one way with all his memories and then the other way as he tries to think about the future and he feels completely at its mercy.

he does the only thing that feels right in the moment and leans in to kiss away at the tears that has appeared on richie's face despite the other man's attempt at discreetly wiping them away. it bring in more memories, more instances of their time together and that love and god— eddie wants to cry too. ❫

You already promised me that we'll stay together. ❪ he murmurs, hands coming up to hold his face and lips continuing to press small kisses. ❫ I'm gonna make sure you keep you're promise, okay?

❪ it's said with a small smile as their foreheads are pressed together and he looks up, seemingly searching richie's eyes. ❫ I won't let anything take you away from me again. I'm not just going to stand by and watch you drive away again either.

[ Everything Richie is feeling would be way too overwhelming if Eddie weren't right here with him, experiencing those same emotions. He manages a smile of his own, sniffling again before pressing soft, gentle kisses to Eddie's cheeks and lips.

This feels so right. They've done this countless times - almost daily, when they were in high school - and the quiet comfort it evokes in Richie's heart is just as potent now as it was all those years ago. After a few moments his tears subside, and for a little while he just lies there with Eddie, still in disbelief that not only did he forget all about this, but that he somehow managed to get it back, too.

Eventually, though, that nagging thought from earlier finds its way to his lips, despite his best attempts to hold it back. ]

Eddie, [ he murmurs, suddenly nervous, ] what about... what about your -

[ even saying the word is difficult: ]

- your wife?

❪ eddie breathes out a tired sound as richie presses those soft, gentle kisses to his cheeks and lips. it's hard not to be taken back to those times from before― before all of this and before they forgot each other. it's harder still not to let himself just near collapse into all and forget about everything else.

but, as it turns out, that's a little harder said than done. since they began this literal trip of memories, he hadn't given much thought to myra back home but now it's hard not to look at his wedding band. ❫

The longer I'm here the more I remember about my mom and the more I'm reminded about the relationship I have with Myra. I forgot and got myself involved with someone that does the same exact shit that she used to do. ❪ he chuckles but it's a sad sound. ❫ And I realize that the sort of shit that I feel with you, felt when we were together, I can't remember ever feeling anywhere close to that with her.

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― open post.

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oops hit enter too soon

ugh relatable

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sorry for being such a slowpoke T_T ♥

you are perfectly fine ♥♥♥♥

skjdhfskdhf ♥

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