respirations | ― open post.

[They balanced each other out, Eddie's genuinely sweet nature paired with his headstrong nature was a perfect compliment to Richie's out of control wiles and they kept each other safe, in line like they were supposed to, and encouraged each other when it mattered.

This wasn't any different, but he's still nervous a mess of uncertainty because he hasn't ever done anything like this and he's not sure how to make it good and he really wants that for Eddie.]

I want to.

[Fuck if he didn't want to more than anything else, the mere concept made his dick betray him and he's already aroused. Much harder than he should be, anyway, and he adjusts his pants a little too obviously. The kissing was usually enough to do it these days, but the added element mixed it up on him.]

❪ there's another flush of color to his cheeks as richie speaks, licking his lips but ultimately offering the other boy a smile. his own nerves are a mess but he's certain in this decision and, so, with a small swallow he reaches down to fiddle with the button of richie's pants. ❫

We're gonna have to be quiet. Mom's probably passed out in front of the TV but... ❪ he hums, reaching up to idly press a kiss to the corner of richie's mouth. ❫ I don't want to risk anything, you know.

[The flush of color to Richie's cheeks has nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with the growing interest in his dick. It's never gone this far before and sure they've messed around, but nothing close to this.

Richie's thankful that he's not panicking or getting nauseous for a change, the unknown always gave him the jitters but this was more than that. This was excitement and thrill, a desire to satiate him but a total lack of experience to pull it off.

Eddie's hands at his pants pulls Richie out of his head, and he leans in for another deep kiss, this one with tongue, and cups his palm over Eddie's cheek reassuringly.]

You have permission to cover my mouth, hot-shot. I'd hate to have to run out of here in the middle of such an important moment.

❪ the flush of red that has overcome eddie's features also, as it turns out, has nothing to do with embarrassment but rather the arousal he doesn't bother to hide as he tests the waters by moving their hips together. it wasn't anything new, they'd done shit like this before but this was so much more.

eddie also finds himself thankful that he isn't losing his fucking mind over this but... god, he wanted this. he wanted rich. as long as they could be together, whatever the case, would be enough.

once more, he melts and near moans into the kiss as he presses back with just as much want. it gives him all the more push, fumbling more with the button of richie's pants and tugs at them. ❫

If anything you'll be covering my mouth. ❪ he says with a small laugh. ❫ You're always talking about how loud I am.

[The eagerness in Eddie's hips and the pink hue to his cheeks are both hot as hell. A huge distraction for Richie, who had been lost to his hormones the minute they crawled into bed together. The window is still open, a soft warm breeze filtered in like clockwork every few minutes and pushed up the drapes that Eddie hung himself last year.

It's easier to kiss, to chase his lips and the sensation that they provide. Urgency and thrill were synchronized and apprehension dissipates the moment Eddie's quivering hands push his pants from his hips. He's still gangly, chicken legs, and too soft skin for a teenage boy growing up in Derry, but he's half-hard the tent in his underwear obvious enough from feeling alone that Richie won't waste his time sparing himself a glance. Too nervous.]

You won't gasp half as much if I can your mouth busy.

[Eddie lived in a nice house but the walls were thin, and Richie couldn't promise that he'd be able to keep his own noise down. Kissing him seemed like the best way to facilitate that, so they don't wake up the Kraken.]

❪ he breathes in deep through his nose as eddie feels even more of richie as he pushes the other's pants from his hips, he follows suit soon after and knocks their hips together again as he raises up just enough to tug his own sleep pants down before kicking them off.

aside from the occasional blowjob this is usually as far as they typically go when things got hot and heay but eddie tries not to let fear hold him back. his heart is beating a mile a minute and his face is flushed to the point that his dusting of freckles are more noticeable as he reaches to touch richie through the fabric of his briefs, breathing in and then out with a hard swallow. ❫

Good, I like that idea. You should know how much I love kissing your dumb face.

❪ he says brightly, grinning as he leans in to do just that as fingers continue working him over slowly with a gentle touch. ❫

[The occasional blowjob was still one of Richie's favorite things to do, so he didn't mind only going that far time after time. This was something completely different, and he leans into Eddie's touch, gentle guiding the way he'd always done.]

Eddie- I love you. And your dumb face.

[It was important to Richie to say that before they really got started. He was already painfully hard, eager in every single way and that was undeniable.]

❪ he laughs, breathless but happy as eddie's free hand comes to cup one of richie's cheeks and leans up to press a kiss to his lips. his own arousal is edging on being painfully hard to ignore along with his own eagerness to take things further with rich. it's why he ultimately moves his hands, hooks his thumbs into his own briefs and tug them away.

he moves to do the same with richie, continuing to kiss and nip at the other's lips as he does to keep his own noise down as their hips brush together. he wants so badly for this to be as good for rich as he knows it'll be for him that he imagines the other can probably pick up on his worry.

yet, he still tries to bury it under his eagerness in another kiss and lets his tongue trace the seam of richie's lips. ❫

[If Richie were like any other teenage boy in America he'd already have his fingers lubed up and lost in the motion of seeing Eddie come apart. Eddie just wasn't some high school sweetheart for him though, he was the beginning and the end of everything. Nobody else mattered and nobody else ever would. He had entertained the idea of running away with him so many times, leaving Derry in the dust but they had no way to do that yet without being pursued or worse so he's had to take his time. It's made him more patient overall, especially like this - he wants to drink in every moment and keep it for later when he's lonesome.

Totally naked with Eddie on the bed now, it's easy to see what he's doing to Eddie and for Eddie to see what he's doing to him. He's thick with want, his lips reddened and kiss-swollen and after chasing his tongue and his soft mouth until he was breathless he has to focus on something different, on what they were actually doing here and he moves forward with renewed purpose pushing a single finger inside of Eddie after lubing his hand up. Richie falls back onto his haunches to watch him react.]

Tell me what you like. I want it to feel good for you.

❪ eddie doesn't think he'll ever love anyone like how he loves richie. it's such an intense, near overwhelming emotion that's just grown and blossomed since their first meeting as kids. it's certainly a different sort of love that had never existed inside of him before richie and he doubts it'll exist after richie though he hopes there never is an 'after' that he'll have to consider.

he breathes in a sharp sound as richie pushes a single digit in past the ring of muscle, lids heavy and chest heaving slightly as he tries to get used to the intrusion. it's different but it has his nerves alight in a pleasant, soft burn that has him reaching for richie's free hand. a soft smile on his lips. ❫

I do feel good but, um... try moving a little?

Oh. Right.

Yeah.

[Moving was part of it, but Richie had never done any of this before, hadn't even fingered himself. So, he's working off of no experience and what he expects might feel good. His speed is gentle, deliberate, and he watches Eddie's face and his chest to see what he might like - what really gets him going.

After a while, the slick helps him get into a pattern, and he adds another digit once he's nice and slippery something a little quicker to keep himself motivated.]

( for having no experience, richie is still a quick learner. it shows in the way eddie's breath hitches, chest jumping with certain movements of his fingers or how his lids near close with a soft moan of pleasure. once he's comfortable, eddie even allows himself to move just a little― rocking his hips slightly back against richie's probing finger.

by the time he adds another finger, eddie's toes are curled against the bedspread with features flushed red. he has to swallow before he talks, blink the stars out of his eyes. )

Richie I, uh... ah― just keep doing that. It feels really good.

[a quick learner because he's always had to be, he doesn't make a big deal about being quick on the uptake never around the other losers. he's always paid attention, astute, and focused especially when it came to eddie.

richie almost loses his breath when he starts to rock his hips up against his hand and his eyes lift to meet eddie's while he loses control and gives himself over to the feeling. he keeps the same speed but does his best to replicate the motions that make eddie moan or shift with obvious intention.]

Jesus. Eddie. You look so good like that.

( he licks his lips, fingers combing through his own hair and trying to keep a sense of self while richie was doing so well at utterly destroying it. heaving in a breath of air, he tries rolling his hips again and working to meet the movements of richie's hand. god, he could get off on this alone but he has to hold back when he wanted so much more. )

Because of you, all because of you. I wanna feel you so bad, Rich.

Is it enough?

Richie's talking about the lube, about what they've been doing for the past several minutes. He pulls the condom off the bed and rolls it on, slathers himself in more of the lube with shaking fingers.]

Are you- you're sure? About this? I can't - I can't give it back.

[Neither could he, and what Richie's talking about is their virginity, and even with heavy-lidded passion-filled eyes fear was still in them. Richie has no idea how to keep himself from spilling over and he doesn't want to disappoint.]

Probably? It doesn't hurt so...

( he swallows, a bit awkwardly. shifting slightly, he sits up on his elbows and watches with flushed features. it's only then that eddie realizes that he own hands are shaking but at least he can hide at that fact, balling them up in his comforter.

the question though takes him off guard and he finds himself staring again but ultimately nodding. )

Ye-yeah. I want it to be you, I do. You've already been my first... everything, really. I don't want this to be with anyone else but you.

[The fact that it doesn't hurt is good, but it doesn't soothe Richie's nerves. He wants this to be amazing, better than amazing, he wants the build-up and the release to be everything for them both.

It might be too much to ask, he's not got a lot of tolerance and he's already sensitive to the touch but seeing Eddie flush, pink, and ready underneath him is enough to keep him going and he aligns their hips and slips into Eddie's tight heat, little by little until he's buried inside.]

Oh. Eddie.

Richie could regret those being the first words he said after losing his virginity another time. For now, he's too focused on him, on making sure it was good - not painful, or awkward. Not even a little bit.]

( it's not hard to tell that richie's nerves are still fussed and overwhelming. eddie, meanwhile, feels at a loss but tries to soothe his wild nerves by pressing a kiss to his lips before laying back down atop his bed sheets. he can't help swallowing hard again as richie moves, aligning their hips and begins to press in.

briefly, he closes his eyes but opens them back up just as quickly and offers richie another bright smile. it's different and he bites at his bottom lip but its better than anything eddie might have expected going into this with as little knowledge as they did have.

hearing the small word and his name, he chuckles and raises a hand to cup the other's cheek. )

You feel amazing. ( he breathes, fingers clutching at the bed sheets as he just takes a moment to breathe and get used to the feeling. ) Kiss me again?

Do I?

[God, Richie can barely focus it's taking every bit of self-control he has not to blow his load hard and fast. The last thing he wants is to ruin this moment, so he dips down keeping his hips still and meets Eddie's lips. Turns out, kissing is the right kind of distraction, and it's a lot easier to focus on that than it is to regulate his breathing.]

( he can only nod at the question, laughing breathlessly. everything feels so overwhelming that even talking feels beyond eddie at the moment. he ultimately has to swallow, knees digging into richie's bony sides as he reaches up to trace the other's face, weave through his hair with his hands and pull him closer into the kiss. )

I love you. ( he whispers, a bit sentimental but he feels that it bears repeating in the moment. )

I love you too. Forever.

[Richie's voice is just as quiet, worried that if he speaks too loudly he'll crumble on the spot. Everything is heightened to him, close to driving him mad and finally he finds it in him to move. Slowly, at first, drawn-out and purposeful with a broken sort of moan escaping his mouth as soon as he does it.

They planned to be quiet, but Richie wasn't so sure he could commit to that anymore. The bed was squeaking, their hips were slapping, and he was close to losing control. It's amazing, and he's drowning in the sensation of it all with no life preservers to keep him afloat.]

( he breathes out a choked sound close to a sob as richie responds in kind, unable to help himself. it's all too much. everything is oversensitive and that is to say nothing of how fucking alive he feels the moment that richie decides to move. it's slow, drawn-out and eddie can only hang on as he slowly begins to set a pace that threatens to drive him wild.

and, yeah, the idea of being quiet is quickly going out the window with each swing of richie's hips. he's lost in little moans, aching ― ah, ah, ahs ― as his nails dig into the skin of Rich's shoulders. )

Fe―feels good, so good. I'm gonna lose it.

[It starts out uncertain because Richie doesn't know what to do or how to do it but his body takes over for him. Once he realizes how amazing it feels it's all he can do to keep his mouth shut on his mind from shutting down. His momentum and rhythm is a little sloppy, but he's got his head buried against Eddie's shoulder to keep himself from being louder than Eddie was himself.]

I-I know, babe. I can't- I don't know how long I'll be able to-

[The longer they went the more difficult it became. Thighs clenching, stomach knotting up in protest just begging for release.]

❪ for as uncertain as richie is there certainly isn't any displeasure to be shown given the noises that eddie is making with every snap of his hips. his own head is tilted, breath ragged and trying desperately to control the moans escaping him as the pleasure mounts. ❫

I-It's okay. ❪ he says with a whimper, his hands clutching tighter to richie's shoulders as his whole body rocks with each movement. ❫ Let go. I wanna feel all of you.

[All the build-up and the years spent since childhood being in love with Eddie hadn't prepared Richie for this and he's lucky he didn't come in his pants prior to the real deal. Richie's skin is a mess of heightened senses, warm to the touch, flush from the friction and it doesn't take anything more than the last four words to make him let go, an explosion of relief draining the color right out of him after he does.

The totality of it makes him crumble and Richie buries his body against Eddie's in the aftermath while he caught his breath. It wasn't long, maybe five minutes but it felt like suspended animation and he was half dazed - with foggy glasses and reddened cheeks.]

Eds-

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end here?