[Eddie's playing it off, for his benefit and he knows it. It's a knife twisting sharply somewhere in his gut. Eddie wasn't just scared for him, he was scared of him. At the moment, he was no better than the psychos that he'd been hazed by as a child and even with turnabout being fair play Richie feels it, knows he has a body count. Knows that some chord was struck deep within him, maybe snapped, picked off completely.
You scared the shit out of me.
It's not the shit he ever thought he'd hear, and even with the gesture of sweetness, it stings like fresh salt in the gash on his cheek. He reaches up and pushes Eddie's hand away with fresh dewiness to his eyes.]
I need -
[Well, he's not really sure, Richie knows there's not a goddamn therapist on the planet capable of sussing this out. He stiffly toes out of his shoes.]
God, honestly I don't even fucking know. Maybe I'm broken. I don't - I don't know anymore.
[Richie's eyes fall closed and his hand his the bridge of his own nose, he's trying not to cry. Trying desperately not be more obvious than he's already being.]
no subject
You scared the shit out of me.
It's not the shit he ever thought he'd hear, and even with the gesture of sweetness, it stings like fresh salt in the gash on his cheek. He reaches up and pushes Eddie's hand away with fresh dewiness to his eyes.]
I need -
[Well, he's not really sure, Richie knows there's not a goddamn therapist on the planet capable of sussing this out. He stiffly toes out of his shoes.]
God, honestly I don't even fucking know. Maybe I'm broken. I don't - I don't know anymore.
[Richie's eyes fall closed and his hand his the bridge of his own nose, he's trying not to cry. Trying desperately not be more obvious than he's already being.]