It honestly makes him feel even worse to be treating Richie this way. He had given up so very much for him starting from the moment they had set foot in Derry up until his very moment now in their kitchen. Richie had stuck by him despite all the pain, worry and arguments until he was well enough to get his ass off the fucking east coast. It had been a surprise, yeah, just showing up like he did but Eddie had realized the moment he had woke up in the hospital after their fight with Pennywise that it was something that had to end.

It had just gone up from there and his life here with Richie even if things had also had their downs as well.

Myra, unfortunately, had been one of those downs. Again― Richie had been so understanding despite his up and down moods, working through his own shit and fighting through this divorce. His boyfriend had even blamed himself for what had happened between him and now ex-wife but honestly... it had been and would always be Eddie's fault. That is what scares him the most because he doesn't want to destroy what the two of them have built here because of his own fucking problems.

As Richie speaks, Eddie frowns slightly and lets his gaze drift to the floor. He's not wrong because Eddie had been working on his own self image destroyed from literally forty years of bullshit. It's with a soft look that he gazes up at Richie and opens his mouth as if he was going to speak but suddenly Eddie is left near breathless as Richie really lets it fucking drop―

"You love me―" He says not so much as a question but more of a statement. There is a quiet moment where Eddie just stares, mouth open and breathing in a stuttered sound. Suddenly, without warning, a blush blooms across his features and he takes a step toward Richie. For the first time in what felt like an entire week, Eddie smiles.

"I don't know when it started for me," he says and reaches for Richie's hand. "But I love you too, Rich."