❪ because, unfortunately, even something as simple as that was asking a lot of eddie in the moment. he feels real though and as he sits here, on his knees holding richie's hand, that feels real too. he doesn't have long to ponder on the question because suddenly richie is burying his face against his chest and pulling him down into a tight hug. he feels like he should say something but that's when he notices the tears falling and his breath hitches.
he's left clueless, unsure of what to say so eddie simply lays there and holds richie as the other man cries. he tries to sooth him with soft touches but eddie wonders if that's just making things worse for richie. ❫
[It was asking a lot, but Richie didn't care because Eddie was back, in the flesh, right in front of him and he doesn't let him go until his tears dry up and he realizes that this was really happening.
Too late to tell him how he felt before Richie finds his nerve now, after being convinced he lost everything. He balls a fist in Eddie's shirt and looks up at him with glassy eyes.]
❪ maybe it was asking a lot but even so eddie doesn't seem to care either. he simply lays there and holds richie, rubbing his back in soothing motions and breathing in slow breaths of air as he nudges their foreheads together.
the moment though that richie admits his feelings, he feels like his heart should be rocketing around in his chest but once again eddie feels nothing. instead, he just finds himself staring wide-eyed at richie's glassy ones and blinks as if confused. it only lasts a moment though before his body seems to relax and eddie opens his mouth as if wanting to say something but ultimately nothing comes out.
instead, he does what he thinks is the next best thing in the moment and closes the gap between them. letting himself captures richie's lips in a soft kiss and hoping, praying it was enough to get his own feelings across while his words failed him. ❫
[Too tired physically, emotionally, Richie doesn't say anything right away. It feels good to have Eddie so close, and he basks in it even though he knows that there would be questions, doubts, and problems to follow.
He doesn't care.
Eddie would recognize his own sweater and t-shirt on Richie. He hadn't changed much, he was still toting around the same old pair of jeans but when Eddie didn't come back Richie grabbed what he could, he needed something, he didn't want to leave him down there to be just one more memory forgotten.
It feels amazing to say those three words out loud, and it feels even better to kiss him. At first, he's not sure it's really happening, but Eddie's real and tangible and he feels the same way. He feels the same way. He'd been bracing for rejection, or for a misunderstanding and a friendly shoulder pat. Any anxiety he might have had over confessing melts right out of him.]
( Grabbing at Richie, Eddie vaguely recognizes his clothes but says nothing. He can't imagine what his world would like if Richie had died down there instead but he wasn't dead... was he? It was still confusing and vaguely he can remember his dying moments if he thought hard enough but that's the last thing Eddie wants to think about when he was here, in bed with Richie, kissing him like he had dreamed of countless times. )
I love you. ( He murmurs with a breath of needy air and their foreheads pressed together as he dips in to kiss him again. ) I love you too, Rich.
( He curls in close until they're pressed together snug and he can better feel everything he can from Rich. It's then that he leans in for another kiss; much deeper and more needy as fingers move to curl through Richie's hair. )
[A gentle tear escapes down his cheek, he'd imagined the words a million and one times and they never came close to the real thing. Said that way, in that tone, for him. Sure, they'd exchanged the typical I love you's between friends, in childhood, but this was more and it held all of that weight of so much more.
His tense kiss gives way to a needy one and Richie's hands unbidden grab Eddie even closer by the back of his shirt. He needs this now, needs to feel him like he wasn't just some fever dream or a figment.]
( As Richie's tense kiss melts into something much needier and his hands grab at his shirt, Eddie can't help the breathless stutter of sound that escapes him. Much like Richie, Eddie needs this. He needs to feel something that made this all much more real, made him feel alive and real despite everything he remembers happening down in that hell cave. )
Richie— ( He breathes out, muffled against kiss swollen lips but he shifts to move Rich onto his back as Eddie moves in turn to lean over him with kisses dipping down to press against Richie's neck. ) You gotta let me know when to stop. I don't— I want this, I want you.
Whatever, man. You fucking said no to me so much when we were kids.
( He laughs, unable to help himself, as he talks. It feels good, Eddie decides and helps him to forget everything else swimming around them. It lets him focus solely on Rich and he can't help but let his fingers stroke at his face with a soft sound.
he doesn't mean to be so seriously, but: )
Do you think we'll be able to stay together this time?
[The reason he'd said no had nothing to do with Eddie and everything to do with his own self-esteem and cowardice. He regretted every single time, every single moment up to losing him. He should've been clearer.]
And now you're saying yes. ( He says with a murmur, a smile on his features and letting his fingers trace trace the line of Richie's jaw with softness that is rather unlike either of them. Still there is a touch of sadness on his expression as he speaks: ) I hate that I ever said no to you before.
( Eddie lets out of a breath with that before he leans in and presses another soft kiss that he lets linger. It's a taste of courage that he needs to force the next question out of his throat. )
[It's a good question, and Richie normally the one of the two of them with the answers is too exhausted to come up with an adequate lie. He grasps at nothing in the air in front of him, hoping some ruse will deliberately fall into place to help them out. Still nothing.
In the curtains of darkness of the room Eddie's skin almost glows and Richie lets himself be distracted by that, by the beauty of him that he never let himself fully appreciate. He'd always been too much of a coward to let himself look for very long.]
They'll- um- they'll probably just think I bailed. It's fine.
[It's not fine, but he had a reputation for taking off and flying off the handle when emotions ran high. Which they definitely did.]
( Eddie just watches quietly, carefully as Richie seems to think over his answer. He wants nothing more than to lean and bring him close, crawl inside and never leave again but he knows that impossible for now with the others on both of their minds in the moment.
Carefully he shifts and draws one of Richie's hands up, kissing his palm with a slow sigh. )
Should we leave now then? I can drive, I, uh— I'm not tired.
( He hates just bailing on their friends but, at the same time, there is something strange here. There is something none of them understand and until he better understands what has happened to him? He just wants to hide. Maybe it's horrible of him, terrible even but he can't stand the thought of facing them now. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
respirations) wrote2020-05-17 10:19 pm
no subject
❪ because, unfortunately, even something as simple as that was asking a lot of eddie in the moment. he feels real though and as he sits here, on his knees holding richie's hand, that feels real too. he doesn't have long to ponder on the question because suddenly richie is burying his face against his chest and pulling him down into a tight hug. he feels like he should say something but that's when he notices the tears falling and his breath hitches.
he's left clueless, unsure of what to say so eddie simply lays there and holds richie as the other man cries. he tries to sooth him with soft touches but eddie wonders if that's just making things worse for richie. ❫
I'm sorry, Rich.
no subject
Too late to tell him how he felt before Richie finds his nerve now, after being convinced he lost everything. He balls a fist in Eddie's shirt and looks up at him with glassy eyes.]
I love you.
no subject
the moment though that richie admits his feelings, he feels like his heart should be rocketing around in his chest but once again eddie feels nothing. instead, he just finds himself staring wide-eyed at richie's glassy ones and blinks as if confused. it only lasts a moment though before his body seems to relax and eddie opens his mouth as if wanting to say something but ultimately nothing comes out.
instead, he does what he thinks is the next best thing in the moment and closes the gap between them. letting himself captures richie's lips in a soft kiss and hoping, praying it was enough to get his own feelings across while his words failed him. ❫
no subject
He doesn't care.
Eddie would recognize his own sweater and t-shirt on Richie. He hadn't changed much, he was still toting around the same old pair of jeans but when Eddie didn't come back Richie grabbed what he could, he needed something, he didn't want to leave him down there to be just one more memory forgotten.
It feels amazing to say those three words out loud, and it feels even better to kiss him. At first, he's not sure it's really happening, but Eddie's real and tangible and he feels the same way. He feels the same way. He'd been bracing for rejection, or for a misunderstanding and a friendly shoulder pat. Any anxiety he might have had over confessing melts right out of him.]
stumbles in late with starbucks
I love you. ( He murmurs with a breath of needy air and their foreheads pressed together as he dips in to kiss him again. ) I love you too, Rich.
( He curls in close until they're pressed together snug and he can better feel everything he can from Rich. It's then that he leans in for another kiss; much deeper and more needy as fingers move to curl through Richie's hair. )
no subject
His tense kiss gives way to a needy one and Richie's hands unbidden grab Eddie even closer by the back of his shirt. He needs this now, needs to feel him like he wasn't just some fever dream or a figment.]
no subject
Richie— ( He breathes out, muffled against kiss swollen lips but he shifts to move Rich onto his back as Eddie moves in turn to lean over him with kisses dipping down to press against Richie's neck. ) You gotta let me know when to stop. I don't— I want this, I want you.
no subject
He's pliant and falls onto his back easily, and god if it isn't everything he'd ever dreamed of. His sadness ebbs with every touch of Eddie's lips. ]
You kidding? I could never say no to you.
no subject
( He laughs, unable to help himself, as he talks. It feels good, Eddie decides and helps him to forget everything else swimming around them. It lets him focus solely on Rich and he can't help but let his fingers stroke at his face with a soft sound.
he doesn't mean to be so seriously, but: )
Do you think we'll be able to stay together this time?
no subject
[The reason he'd said no had nothing to do with Eddie and everything to do with his own self-esteem and cowardice. He regretted every single time, every single moment up to losing him. He should've been clearer.]
I'm not going fucking anywhere without you.
no subject
( Eddie lets out of a breath with that before he leans in and presses another soft kiss that he lets linger. It's a taste of courage that he needs to force the next question out of his throat. )
What should we tell the others?
no subject
In the curtains of darkness of the room Eddie's skin almost glows and Richie lets himself be distracted by that, by the beauty of him that he never let himself fully appreciate. He'd always been too much of a coward to let himself look for very long.]
They'll- um- they'll probably just think I bailed. It's fine.
[It's not fine, but he had a reputation for taking off and flying off the handle when emotions ran high. Which they definitely did.]
no subject
Carefully he shifts and draws one of Richie's hands up, kissing his palm with a slow sigh. )
Should we leave now then? I can drive, I, uh— I'm not tired.
( He hates just bailing on their friends but, at the same time, there is something strange here. There is something none of them understand and until he better understands what has happened to him? He just wants to hide. Maybe it's horrible of him, terrible even but he can't stand the thought of facing them now. )